I feel so emotionally drained right now.  I feel like I'm on the verge of losing what I hold dearest to my heart.  And I feel like other people act like they like you, but at the first chance to take happiness away from you, they do it.  I don't feel like myself.  This constant feeling of  uneasiness, and uncertainty is making me sick to my stomach  I just want everything to go back to normal.  I just want peace.

Oh shut it

It amazes me how people can sit there and say extremely rude stuff to your face, and not think that it's rude. Not all of us are privileged and have as many opportunities just handed to us. It's starting to get really old and I'm not going to be so nice anymore when that happens. Because I think before I speak and I would never act like I understood something I didn't.

On a different not my love comes home in a few days and I'm beyond ready for that. Not gonna lie, but I'm kind of over tour.

Oh! Yesterday miss Kayla and I had a pretty awesome thrifting day! We went to a bunch of different places, got goodies and then went and got stuff to make the cheesiest girlfriend shirts. I accidentally destroyed mine shortly after and almost destroyed hers and I felt so crappy. But it turned out good! Mine says "Timmy's Love" with 09 underneath. That is the year we got together. It also says "mews" on the back. But that's our thing hehe. Hers says Prince Erics Girl on the front and 11 on the back. They are tacky but I actually really love it. Timmy loved it too. He asked me to make him one to wear everywhere. Which in turn makes me one very happy lucky girl.



P.s. must suck wanting something you are never ever going to have.

Open Letter

I'm only going to say this once.  Back off.  You are always going to be a stranger...so get over it.  I'm so sick of people like you.  And that seems to be all that comes out of that shithole known as north mississippi.  For your sake, I hope I don't see you soon.  

Honesty...

So I have come to the realization that my blog isn't like all the other "DIY, Handmade, Vintage, BlahBlahBlah" I use mine to tell how I am feeling at the moment, my problems that I encounter, and everything else I wanna share about my life.  I have decided that this post is going to be Me being completely and 100% honest about how I am feeling at the moment.   Firstly when I blog I am blogging about what I think and what I feel.  And I honestly feel like I don't need to impress anyone's friends.  I don't need to act like I like someone or something just because I think I'll be more accepted with people.  I have pretty much based most of my young adult life that way and I don't want to anymore.  Because when I go out, I'm not going out looking to be the cool girl.  I go out to support my boyfriend and what he loves doing.  It saddens me that this is happening all around me.  Also there are a couple of people I don't want in my life. Period.  That means I don't want to see these people, know they exist, encounter them anywhere.  If I do...I will go on as if they aren't there.  I will also do that to the people they associate with.  That sounds very cold or harsh...but like I said.  I don't want them in MY life.  I don't care who else does or wants to know them or blahblahblah....but I don't want that.  If it means not talking to people that are talking to those people then so be it.  I will do what it takes to keep them out of my life.  Until someone knows the reason then it's none of their business why I have these feelings.  I feel like I am seeing more and more of people's real colors.  I'm tired of being looked and talked down to by people.  Tired of being let down.  Tired of being compared to people that are put on pedestal's.  I think I'm just ready to get away from everything and everyone.  I told Timmy that when he went on tour he would see how amazing the west coast was.  And he is.  He wants to move out there and so do I.  It will take a long time to actually be able to do it, but I know we can.  We both want to grow up and start living our adult lives.  He told me he was ready the other day and I felt so proud of him.  So I see us having a decent future somewhere we both want to be, that's not here.  

Music Monday!

I apologize for my lack of posts.  I feel like a horrible blogger because of it.  I've just been having some personal problems and being super stressed out.  Timmy leaves in 2 days for his 17 day tour. And having to deal with all of this crap while he is away makes me incredibly sad.  I know that doesn't sound very long, but people fail to realize that He is my best friend in the entire world.  We come home to each other every single day.  So being apart even for 2 and a half weeks is difficult.  And because of problems from the past, it kind of makes me uneasy to be away from him.  I'm not like a lot of people who have a unattached relationship.  I'm sure for those people being away from each other is nothing and it doesn't bother them in the slightest. But we aren't those couples.  Sheesh I swear it doesn't feel like I have had a day off in a couple weeks.  My weekends are so busy, and not always in a good way, that I don't really get a day to just sit and read and enjoy a quiet off day.  But this is growing up.  Next phase is finding a place of my own to call home.  That will be much easier since we are going to be rooming with Kayla and her Eric.  So rent will be do-able.  I just don't want that constant struggle.  I had that my entire child hood and just want to be semi-comfortable.  But we shall see.  Well Enjoi this music.  It's Rosi Golan and William Fitzsimmons.  Two of my faaaaavorite singers.  Their voices alone are amazing, but together = mind blown.  

Music Monday

Gold Motel's new album just came out and it is beyond words amaaaazing!  I'm in love.  I love their sound.  It's what I hope to try to achieve with what Timmy and I are doing.  Anyhow this is what's getting me going this lovely Monday afternoon. Enjoi!

annoyance.

As my subtitle states...I will ramble..rant...blahblahblah..  And so I begin.  You are a hypocrite.  You lost a puppy dog and gained one.  I used to like you.  Not anymore.  You only ever act cold towards me. You always put others down for things they do or don't like, but it's ok for you to "hate" on shit like that.  Grow the fuck up you child.  You can't do this same stupid immature shit forever.  Not everyone has the same luxuries.  People actually have to work a real job for what they have.  I have more that I want to say...but honestly it's probably too mean.  And I'm gonna take the other route and just stop here.  I support my man and will continue to do so.  But nobody else.