Done and Done!

I've given up trying to be nice and befriend people.  It sucks when all you want is some kind of acknowledgment, but instead you get hard stares, strange looks, or just nothing at all.  I smile at everyone.  Thats my way of saying Hey...but I guess it's not as good as actually speaking it.  But I'd rather just smile then say hey and get nothing in return.  It mostly sucks because it's like the people I want to like me are the ones I think don't.  It's stupid to fret about I know... but something about it bugs me.  And I'm not letting it bother me anymore.  So from now on...a smile is what you'll get and if nothing is done in return, then no longer will I smile!  Yes, I do know that when I go places I seem a little stand-offish.  That's just me.  Awkward, social anxiety, shy, blahblahblah.  I do love meeting new people..just the process of actually doing it is the hard thing.  It's hard for me to just speak up when I have no clue what to say.  Everytime I go out, everyone around me is having different mini conversations about random things, or what they did the other day, or some crazy thing so and so did last night.  I never really have anything to add.  But anyhow I do stay quiet and stand off and I prefer to be comfortable then make my self completely UNcomfortable just to make everyone happy.  I probably complain about this too much.  But Hey I listen to other peoples problems, and bitching, and complaining...and you have a choice to read this blog.  Hopefully you are though.  Enough of that now.

Show last night at Escape Alley...it was really fun!  I had a good time.  It was like going back to highschool though.  Or to the mall like 4 years ago with all the "scene-kids" that stood outside of hot topic.  DMI did a really really good job and I think the kids standing around didn't really know how to take it... I guess it wasn't "scream-o" enough for them... but hey the second band covered that.  Im all for local music but I like being able to understand it and not just hear some guy screaming his guts out...My ears aren't what they used to be.  And if something isn't catchy to me... then it just isn't.  I'm tired of people getting attitudes or saying shit because I don't like every local band around.  Music is not my obsession.  Or my life.  But I do love it.  Just not all of it.  And just because the band is a touring local band or just a local local band does NOT mean everyone has to like them.  Honestly I think Deal Me In is THE only local band I like.  Just haven't really found any others that play music I like.  Getting older a lot of my tastes in music are changing big time.  I can't do the whole screaming rather than singing thing much anymore.  I like more instruments.  I'm getting older..things are changing...I want things to change...this is how it's supposed to happen right?  The older you get anyhow.  I dunno.  I feel like I still do a lot of childish or teenage things and I am about to be 24 years old.... Can't really say things though because some people take offense.  

Oh... and Timmy and I.... we are going to be together for a very very long time.  Anyone who doesn't like it can get over it.  I'm not going anywhere and neither is he.  Anyone who tries to get into our business just needs to back the eff up.  And go on somewhere.