golly

This week has crawled on by.  Rainy weather keeps me tired. bleh.  I'm so glad that I am OFF tomorrow!  Which means clean room time.  Yay.  Sunday Funday was pretty dang awesome.  Went to the Pink Palace with Miss Kayla and seen a movie about Dolphins on the Imax.  It would have been perfect except the music was done by Sting...and I Loathe Sting...don't ask.  Anyhow Timothy's Granny was in a wreck yesterday and besides the bumps and bruises and messed up car, she seems to be ok. Good thing.  I can't imagine if anything worse happened.  So Prayers for Granny.  And for my sister as well.  She had a few lumps in her neck checked out and has to speak to an Oncologist.  I pray and Hope everything goes well.  For her and Cason's sake.  On a different note.  I really and itching to just get out of memphis for a few days.  I'm really bummed that I had to postpone my Chicago trip.  Even though I had a feeling once everything was going right, that something would come along to crush it.  But family first.  There is something of personal nature I want to speak of.  Ok..so I KNOW that I am no way,shape,or form ready for a child.  But I have been having a case of Baby fever.  Everytime I see a baby anywhere I just have a big want in my heart to have one of my own.  But I know that I am not ready at alllll.  Me or Timmy.  We have picked out names for our future little one, and I love that he's excited for the future and having one.  Sometimes I think I'm ready.  I just tell myself, oh I'm so ready.  I know what to do and how to take care of a newborn.  I helped and a lot of times took care of Cason when he was just a newborn.  I was his nanny while parents worked. Some nights he even slept with me.  Though I didn't get a wink of sleep.  The tiniest noise woke me up.  It was more like half awake half asleep.  I would constantly check to make sure he was breathing and moving.  I sang to him, and taught him things, played endless chasing games and tons of funny faces and food messes.  And difficult at some times..it was amazing.  I can't even put into words the love I have for that Child.  He has me as well as everyone else, wrapped around his tiny finger.  And I think when I do watch him now a days...I just stare at him and admire how beautiful he is and how badly I would love to have a child with the man I love.  Something that is part of both of us.  That's when reality sets in.  And even though I won't be having one any time soon...it's still nice to think of for the future.