Ugh.

I honestly do not know where to start.  I started blogging several years ago to show people what my life was like.  Things I love, places I went, and people I know and met.  And it feels like it just used to come so natural to me.  Lately even though I have the time, I just feel like I don't have it, or an idea to blog.  I used to be so passionate about it all.  I read so many and a few are mothers, who not only work, and take care of their children, but also find time to blog and take pictures during the day for the blog and photoshoots for the style aspect of it.  I feel like I should be doing those things because I have no children and at work I always have time.  I just can't figure out what to write about.  I guess I have bloggers block...but it has lasted way too long.  And I feel like just giving up and hanging this blog up.  It just seems like I prefer reading blogs to actually running one.  I mean it's not really hard once you put your mind to it.  But lately I have been in this funk where I feel no creativity in me whatsoever.  I see so much around me.  Everyone I know is so creative, whether it be playing music, drawing, cooking, or writing.  And I feel like I don't possess any of those things and it bums me out sometimes.  That being said I am so thankful to have Timmy.  He makes me feel like I possess something that nobody else does, something better.  To get to the point.  I will not be blogging anymore. For a while at least.  Thank You to those of you who have read.  I'll be back.  Soon :]

I feel so emotionally drained right now.  I feel like I'm on the verge of losing what I hold dearest to my heart.  And I feel like other people act like they like you, but at the first chance to take happiness away from you, they do it.  I don't feel like myself.  This constant feeling of  uneasiness, and uncertainty is making me sick to my stomach  I just want everything to go back to normal.  I just want peace.

Oh shut it

It amazes me how people can sit there and say extremely rude stuff to your face, and not think that it's rude. Not all of us are privileged and have as many opportunities just handed to us. It's starting to get really old and I'm not going to be so nice anymore when that happens. Because I think before I speak and I would never act like I understood something I didn't.

On a different not my love comes home in a few days and I'm beyond ready for that. Not gonna lie, but I'm kind of over tour.

Oh! Yesterday miss Kayla and I had a pretty awesome thrifting day! We went to a bunch of different places, got goodies and then went and got stuff to make the cheesiest girlfriend shirts. I accidentally destroyed mine shortly after and almost destroyed hers and I felt so crappy. But it turned out good! Mine says "Timmy's Love" with 09 underneath. That is the year we got together. It also says "mews" on the back. But that's our thing hehe. Hers says Prince Erics Girl on the front and 11 on the back. They are tacky but I actually really love it. Timmy loved it too. He asked me to make him one to wear everywhere. Which in turn makes me one very happy lucky girl.



P.s. must suck wanting something you are never ever going to have.

Open Letter

I'm only going to say this once.  Back off.  You are always going to be a stranger...so get over it.  I'm so sick of people like you.  And that seems to be all that comes out of that shithole known as north mississippi.  For your sake, I hope I don't see you soon.  

Honesty...

So I have come to the realization that my blog isn't like all the other "DIY, Handmade, Vintage, BlahBlahBlah" I use mine to tell how I am feeling at the moment, my problems that I encounter, and everything else I wanna share about my life.  I have decided that this post is going to be Me being completely and 100% honest about how I am feeling at the moment.   Firstly when I blog I am blogging about what I think and what I feel.  And I honestly feel like I don't need to impress anyone's friends.  I don't need to act like I like someone or something just because I think I'll be more accepted with people.  I have pretty much based most of my young adult life that way and I don't want to anymore.  Because when I go out, I'm not going out looking to be the cool girl.  I go out to support my boyfriend and what he loves doing.  It saddens me that this is happening all around me.  Also there are a couple of people I don't want in my life. Period.  That means I don't want to see these people, know they exist, encounter them anywhere.  If I do...I will go on as if they aren't there.  I will also do that to the people they associate with.  That sounds very cold or harsh...but like I said.  I don't want them in MY life.  I don't care who else does or wants to know them or blahblahblah....but I don't want that.  If it means not talking to people that are talking to those people then so be it.  I will do what it takes to keep them out of my life.  Until someone knows the reason then it's none of their business why I have these feelings.  I feel like I am seeing more and more of people's real colors.  I'm tired of being looked and talked down to by people.  Tired of being let down.  Tired of being compared to people that are put on pedestal's.  I think I'm just ready to get away from everything and everyone.  I told Timmy that when he went on tour he would see how amazing the west coast was.  And he is.  He wants to move out there and so do I.  It will take a long time to actually be able to do it, but I know we can.  We both want to grow up and start living our adult lives.  He told me he was ready the other day and I felt so proud of him.  So I see us having a decent future somewhere we both want to be, that's not here.  

Music Monday!

I apologize for my lack of posts.  I feel like a horrible blogger because of it.  I've just been having some personal problems and being super stressed out.  Timmy leaves in 2 days for his 17 day tour. And having to deal with all of this crap while he is away makes me incredibly sad.  I know that doesn't sound very long, but people fail to realize that He is my best friend in the entire world.  We come home to each other every single day.  So being apart even for 2 and a half weeks is difficult.  And because of problems from the past, it kind of makes me uneasy to be away from him.  I'm not like a lot of people who have a unattached relationship.  I'm sure for those people being away from each other is nothing and it doesn't bother them in the slightest. But we aren't those couples.  Sheesh I swear it doesn't feel like I have had a day off in a couple weeks.  My weekends are so busy, and not always in a good way, that I don't really get a day to just sit and read and enjoy a quiet off day.  But this is growing up.  Next phase is finding a place of my own to call home.  That will be much easier since we are going to be rooming with Kayla and her Eric.  So rent will be do-able.  I just don't want that constant struggle.  I had that my entire child hood and just want to be semi-comfortable.  But we shall see.  Well Enjoi this music.  It's Rosi Golan and William Fitzsimmons.  Two of my faaaaavorite singers.  Their voices alone are amazing, but together = mind blown.  

Music Monday

Gold Motel's new album just came out and it is beyond words amaaaazing!  I'm in love.  I love their sound.  It's what I hope to try to achieve with what Timmy and I are doing.  Anyhow this is what's getting me going this lovely Monday afternoon. Enjoi!

annoyance.

As my subtitle states...I will ramble..rant...blahblahblah..  And so I begin.  You are a hypocrite.  You lost a puppy dog and gained one.  I used to like you.  Not anymore.  You only ever act cold towards me. You always put others down for things they do or don't like, but it's ok for you to "hate" on shit like that.  Grow the fuck up you child.  You can't do this same stupid immature shit forever.  Not everyone has the same luxuries.  People actually have to work a real job for what they have.  I have more that I want to say...but honestly it's probably too mean.  And I'm gonna take the other route and just stop here.  I support my man and will continue to do so.  But nobody else.  

It's been a good minute since I've done a "Dress Love" post, and I was already drooling over all the pretty new dresses on modcloth that I decided it had to be done.  Look at these babies! Gahh, this is the time I wish I had an endless supply of money.  I can never have too many dresses.  I just wish I could find cuter ones at stores around.  I've always been a little wary about buying them off of the internet, because I like to try a dress on before I buy it.  It would just suck to order one I really really want, then wait for it only to try it on and it not fit.  Sad Face.  Anyhow, yes I would love alllll of these and my birthday is only 7 months away! Haha!  

I can't believe it's already July.  Tomorrow is the 4th!  Sucks though because I live in the city and we can't light fireworks :[   But we do get to bbq and light sparklers and all that jazz, so I'm happy.  Especially because I get to be around family and my Love.  

I've had readers blog lately and I just can't stand it.  I have so much other things to do and I like to make time to read.  I'm a bit obsessive sometimes about reading because it is almost like therapy for me.  It takes me away from all the craziness and into my own world.  But I haven't found any books that spark my interest since I finished the 50 Shades Trilogy.  So if any of you readers want to suggest some books to me, that would be pretty awesome of you!

Why Hello

Ok, so only a few people know that Timmy and I are going to.......

Start up a 2 person band together!   We've been talking about it a lot and I know the sound we want.  He's teaching me bass..as well as guitar and I'm learning more on my uke.  I'm really excited about this.  I think we will be pretty good together and this isn't some big thing or anything...it's just to do it.  To see what we can do and how it will sound.  We are going for the garage/surf rock sound. A la Gold Motel/Best Coast...which in MY opinion ahhhmazing!  And he has these really nifty recording apps on his ipad that lets us record 8 different tracks to put together as well as a synth and strings to create a full on song!  I'm not the best at song writing but I've started writing one that I'm pretty happy with.  On another note..it feels refreshing to re-connect with friends.  Kinda makes you realize that you really do need that friend to talk to when you're stressed out and have things you wanna get of your chest.  

Deal Me In has a show tomorrow at Crosstown Arts!  It's a fairly new venue in midtown that is really pretty awesome.  I've been to so many venues in midtown, half of which I looooved and they closed down.  I really hope this one makes it.

Ok so my best friend evvvvverrrr surprised me with a trip to Hawaii!  Now those who know me, know that I have a terrible, terrrrrrrible fear of flying.  I don't like even looking at airplanes, or being inside airports.  But I do have to get over that fear eventually, and what better way than a 12 hour flight to Hawaii?!  We get to stay in a condo for free-courtesy of her aunt and uncle-  It even overlooks Maui she said. So I'm very grateful to her for this opportunity.  I would have never gotten the chance otherwise.  And I'm so glad she is my best friend.  We have been best friends for 12 years and She is seriously the only friend I have had that long.  I consider her and her family MY family.  

Oh and we have 4 bewwwwwteeefull baby kitties that are almost the age to re-home.  They are by far the most beautiful kittens My cat has ever had.  They each have their own personality and I don't want to see them go.  They are cuddly and so playful and just got to the stage of wanting to sleep in my bed curled up in my hair.  I love them so.  Timmy might be more attached than I am.  Their names are: James-the chill cat-, Gary Jr-the cuddle monster cat-, Banshee- the playful sneaky cat- and Kitty Pride-the only girl and quiet cat-. Ok enough of my cat lady persona haha.

Tour starts in a few weeks and I have multiple emotions on this.  On one hand I am beyond happy for the guys and they deserve this, to put their music out there and see the west coast. But I am also so sad that I won't be with Timmy for 18 days.  I'm used to seeing him everyday and sleeping next to him everynight, that this is going to be really difficult for me.  It may be really easy for others, but we love being around each other a lot.  He's made it clear to me.  Another thing is even though we really can't afford for him to go on tour, I am fully supporting him doing so.  We talked and realized that after this tour all of our money will go toward getting our own place and paying to live on our own and the next tour he'll be able to do can't be for a long time because we have to plan on our futures together and living alone.   

Now that I've said all of this.... Time to go back to work! Haha.  

50 Shades of What?!

Ok....so I have to admit, like 85% of women in America, I too was enthralled by the 50 Shades trilogy.  I usually never read books like that.  And I honestly didn't even know about the books until a few weeks ago when Timothy's sister in law told me about them over a dinner we were at.  So when I got home that night I downloaded them onto our Ipad thinking I "might" give em a looksie.  I put reading them of for a few days, and on my day off I decided I was going to try and read the "Erotic" book. Haha...Oh jeez erotic...that's never the nature of the books I read.  I'm more into books about historical facts, science fiction, or books like Harry Potter and Hunger Games.  Annnnnyhow I got comfortable, put on Dawson's Creek, and picked up my Ipad and started reading.  I never download books. Ever.  I always buy them.  I prefer holding and reading an actual paperback/hardback book than on some device.  But I wasn't sure I would even be into these books.  Well well well.....the first book took me by complete surprise.  I was expecting all this BSDM with leather, spikes, chains, gags, and whips.  Nope.  It was actually and truly mostly a love story.  And a really good one at that.  I couldn't put the book down, and Timbo actually started getting annoyed because I was reading more that talking to him.  But when I get into a book that I can't put down, then I keep reading until I'm done.  That's how I have always been.  The book did make me blush with all it's eroticism and what not, but it was in a good way.  Now with all that being said, I hear they are making a movie and some of the actors they are talking about in now way fit Christian Grey's description. Ian Somerhalder is too short and his eyes are toooo blue.  Channing Tatum is also too short and not really built like they describe him.  I have however seen one actor that fits Mr.Greys description almost to a T.  Ladies...Alex Pettyfer!

Seriously just dye his hair a little darker and Perfecto!  Square jaw line, grey eyes, and straight nose!

Come on ladies who have read the books and tell me he isn't perfection!  I wasn't sure if I wanted to post any of this at first.  I thought how ridiculous of me to go on and on about this silly book thats really popular right now....but all I have to say is, until you read it..don't knock it. hehe

Friday Favorites!

 I adore this!  It makes me excited to find all the little mushrooms that hide out in my backyard

 I so wish I had this skill.  This is beautiful

 This made me laugh so hard.  So cuuuute!

 I NEED this suitcase in my life ASAP!  How cool is that?!

 I also need one of these as well :]

 This is pretty neat.  It makes me wish I could drink coffee so bad

 Anything that has to do with cats wearing wigs, I'm totally up for!

 My boss got me really into Tea...nommmm

 How freaking DARRRLING is this Black Lion?! Gahh I just wanna cuddle him

 I CANNOT wait to get my own place so I can do my kitchen like THIS!

 Such a cute idea...I'm totally gonna try this for my loves bday!

 I've been wanting to try something new and colorful with my nails..I loooove this

 I would really like to have this watch...reallllly

 THESE Tattoos...Swoooooooon! 

I seriously fell in love with this car.  Gahh!

What's Been Up! [Photo Heavy]

So yes I have been in a bloggers rut and like I said I will slowly come out of it.  This post is like the title PHOTO HEAVY.  All the pictures are from Instagram though, because it's what I have been using to document my daily life.  Well Let's start shall we!

Timbo's mother asked me to help with the baby shower for his sister Amber, and I said I would love to of course.  I made the cake and cupcakes -with the help of my sister VL- and let me tell you, I don't think I will bake a cake like that for a very long time.  It was so difficult and having to leave straight from work to go to baking and have it ready for the next day was quite nerve wracking.  One thing after another kept going wrong and I almost threw in the towel and suggested buying store bought.  We made it work though and it turned out really cute, and The mother and Daughter both LOVED it!  So that made me very happy and made it worth doing.

Timbo and his "sister" cat Cookie :]

Me holding the finished product before the "A" was put on

The cupcakes after they were frosted and pearled

 Everything put together, it was one of the cutest baby showers I've ever been to.  Big reason was because of Mrs.Tina and Jessica

The day my sister and I made the cake and cupcakes, Timbo and I cooked out at her place.  I swear I'm so glad she helped me.  I would have been so freakin lost!

 Cason and his bff Emma

Cason and his Momma

Deal Me In had a pretty awesome show in the gym of a Church right down the road from my work.  The turn out was pretty decent, with it being a show a bit aways from midtown.  They played really good, like always!

I've never seen so many Jorts at one time...crazy

 Eric is always jumping and flaling around...so this is the best shot I've gotten of him..hahaha

 Timothy doing what he does amazingly!

Probably the coolest member of the band Doyle! hehe

Not Pictured: Walt...they kept standing in front of him, on purpose I bet.

My cat Gary finally had her babies last thursday!  Unfortunately 2 of them passed

cuties!

The surving 4...still havent named them!

It's so cute that he LOVES to just cuddle and snuggle them all.  I'm so glad I found a person who loves kitties as much as I do :]

 Amber gave birth on May 30th to little Anna Elizabeth!  She is so beautiful.  I was so excited to hold her and she was so quiet, alert, and tiny!  It's been nearly 3 years since I've held a newborn and boy did it give me Baby Fever.  But it's not the right time, and when it is me and Timothy will know.  Gahh I just love babies!  It also made me so happy that they concider me her aunt :]

Finally holding her after Timbo let her go

He couldn't take his eyes off of her, it was so precious

I picked up a new comic!  I'm really getting into the female super heroes and villians.

Just about done with it.  I have my eye on a Harley Quinn one next!

First Zoo trip in ages!

a few of my guys! Ashton, Cason, and Christopher

Ohhh and the previous post was about Timmy and I house sitting for my sister, her are a few pictures from our mini vacation.

Emma trying to eat the water as I water the plants

We made a homemade pizza with Muenster and Mozzerella and Spinach!  It was by far the most amazing pizza I have ever had.  Ever.

 And this is the fist homemade pizza we made.  It was a margarita pizza. It could have been better.

Leaving you on this picture of Timbo and Emma chilling hahaha

House Sitters

So for the past few days Timothy and I have been house/dog sitting while my sister is out of town. We will be doing so until Sunday, and I have to say how wonderful it is. It's peaceful and quiet and it just feels good to be on our own. It gives us so much more motivation to hurry and find our own home. We are waiting for tour to be here and done with until we start looking. I'd rather not be alone for two weeks at a new place so soon, that and he is saving money for tour, so our saving for a place is put on hold just for a moment. It's fine with me because it gives me time to look around for places we like in our price range. We were thinking about roommates at first, but decided against it. We love our friends and love hanging out every now and then, but we want a home of our own that we can just come home to, dress to our comfort, and do what we want without having to worry about someone else. That and we are lucky to have the jobs we have and to have a roommate who might get fired or quit leaving us in a bind isn't really something we need. With that being said! I know I have not blogged in quite sometime. And so many things have happened since my last post. I have several pictures I will be sharing of recent shows, adventures, and Timothy's new niece! I'm really considering saving for a dslr. I'm not going to lie, I do not know my way around one to save my life. But I like a challenge and something new. I was having my sister explain what lens did what and how this or that worked and man, so many things go into it. I'm not photographer, but I'd like to show you readers a glimpse of mine and Timmy's daily life. And the adventures we go on, and the shows! I'd love to get some good shots of Deal Me In shows! Well. It's slow at work, so while it is I gotta get to it! I'm slowly coming out of my funk with blogging I promise! Be back soon :]

Yeahhhh so

Ok ok so I have been like a ghost on here for ages it seems. I do have several things I want to blog about but it's hard to on this IPad. My laptop charger broke, so I had to order a new one and it still hasn't come in. That and being sick for a couple weeks has made me Mia. I will be back shortly with my charm and witty antidotes. Hehe. Seriously though I feel like I'm letting those who read down. So much stuff has happened over the duration of my absence that I am ready to share with the rest of you. Like recent shows (Deal Me In) and other fun/funny things. Oh! And moren OOTD's. So get ready you guys!!! I shall be back to my normal blogging self. :]. Xoxoxo

Quick

Just have a quick honest blog. I give up. I give up trying to fit in with your circle. I obviously don't. I'm not that bubbly, outgoing, talkative girl. I'm a shy, quiet homebody. I like quiet nights at home. Sometimes I like to go out for fun but not every free night I get. From day one I felt out of place and still do. I wish that wasn't the case. But it is what it is.

What I Wore!

So  I have been MIA from here for a while.  You know the speach.  I've been slowly getting back into my bloggers groove though!  I think I've just needed the space from here.  I honestly have not been on a computer in a while.  I mostly use my phone for everything.  I've just been trying to clear my head as well as some of the people in my life out.  I just feel like I am a really good friend to people.  All the time.  If any of my friends EVER need me for ANYTHING..I drop whatever I'm doing and make time for them.  I don't text them once a month.  Or just see them out and about and say hello and nothing else for another few weeks.  I feel like some of my friends have been doing that lately, and I understand if things happen in their lives, but things happen in mine too and when I need a friend I just hope at least one is there.  Enough of that....  Anyhow I got a new dress last week and finally took some pictures to show!

So I have become obsessed with cute hats.  I don't ever wear them, but after I found this gem I have seen the hat light! And already have my eye on several more!  Oh and as usual my entire outfit is from Target.